The World of Loss

During the last month I have come face to face with loss. I have learned that there are many different types of loss; it is not limited to physical death. I have also learned that every area of loss brings grief. Grief sucks! Grief is difficult to endure. Grief is difficult to watch.

I have watched:

• friends continue to grieve for their son on the fifth anniversary of his death
• one of my best friends (the same grieving for her son) undergo emergency surgery and three days later hospitalized for congestive heart failure related to surgery
• one of my best friends and her husband welcome a grandson too early to face the world and pray daily for his survival
• one of my best friends get a diagnosis of aggressive breast cancer
• one of my best friends deal with her husband’s crippling dementia at at 60
• a couple I’ve known for over twenty years being senselessly attacked and an innocent man killed

One of the greatest blessings of having a “tribe” is the ability to be present with them in times of intense sadness, fear, and immeasurable hurt. That same blessing is also a source of tremendous grief. I have grieved over the loss of a young man who was my second son. I have grieved over his parent’s loss of joy. I have grieved over the hurt that my friends have experienced as they pray for their grandson to be okay. I have grieved over my friend’s loss of health and wishing I could make it better. I have grieved over my friend’s loss of her husband’s mind via a horrible disease. I have grieved over a friend who has had to bury her husband because of pure evil.

None of these wonderful people deserved any of this. I am a fixer. I am a pleaser. I want to bring Jake back to his family. I want to watch Matt and Becky hold their grandson in their arms instead of visiting an incubator. I want to erase Dina’s cancer. I want to restore Mike’s memory so he and Lynne can live the life they had planned. I want Terry to still be here with his wife and family.

I have been overwhelmed and overcome with grief for the last month. I find myself dreading each day, because I’m not sure what tragedy will befall those whom I love. This is just too much.

I took a pause, got quiet and still, and I listened. I listened to God. I wept. I begged. I prayed. And then I knew my issue! I was trying to control things instead of trusting God. I was focusing on the loss instead of the hope. Hope is essential in our lives. Though hope is difficult to see during the murky waters of the storm, God will bring the hope if we will let Him and trust Him.

Sadness will come. Grief will come. But it doesn’t stop there. Psalm 30:5 sums it up perfectly. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” The night of weeping may be days, months, or years in our time, but the joy WILL come. We must watch for the joy. Purpose to find the blessings out of the muck!

Lastly, I urge everyone to find their tribe! Having a circle of friends who will walk through the fires of hell with you is where the blessings start. Find it and cherish it. Storms of life are inevitable. Having a tribe to ride the waves with you is essential.